Sunday, March 2, 2008

The Plan is There Is No Plan

I have a simple two step plan for U.S. energy independence.

Step One: Buy a car that gets 40 miles-per-gallon or better.

Step Two: Shut the hell up already.

What's that? The big powerful vehicle you want to buy only gets 20mpg? You irresponsible git. Since when does something as tiresome as what your pathetic own-self actually wants matter a tink-damn to those who claim to have the best interests of the PLANET at heart. They know what's best for you bucky and they'll tell any and all who'll listen that anyone who buys one of those catastrophically vile SUV monstrosities is somewhere below child murderers and Republican politicians on the scale of scum-baggery.

So behave yourself and hew faithfully to the diktat of the nanny-state. At least buy a Prius for God's sake even though they're so last-week on the greenie-coolness scale. What's that you say? A Prius costs six or eight grand more than any reasonable equivalent vehicle? So what you ingrate. You should pay you swinish wastrel who is sullying the great Gaia merely by respirating, merely by existing. If you're not going to simply off yourself thereby reducing the load on the biosphere then at the least you can sink into debt far enough to feel its pain.

Of course if you have a bit of difficulty buying the equation, 1 Tahoe = 6 dead polar bears, don't feel alone even if these days "climate change" skeptics are compared to Holocaust deniers--to the advantage of the H-deniers. It does certainly seem that what side you come down on in this "debate" is to great degree determined by your political leanings. To that end we here at The Radical center hereby make this policy statement:

If Global Warming Is Real We Don't Give A Damn

At least it's honest right? It also has the virtue of not getting worked up over the petty details of any particular side of the argument. I'm fairly certain that the human race can adapt to whatever nature throws at us short of a twenty mile-wide asteroid. It always has before and it perforce will again. I'm also fairly confident that the grown-ups in the west's legislatures will not sacrifice all of the west's economies on the altar of Climate Change.

As far as what we do being a beacon and light to the rest of the world I can assure you that whatever level of evironmental sanctimony developed by the west, players such as China will yawn, then go back to work building as many coal plants as they possibly can. Does anyone really think that the Chi-Coms take serious notice of countries that "lead by example". They might take notice of boycotts and heavy tariffs but moral one-upsmanship? Please. Hemp-shirted elitism is about the very last damn thing any arbiter of Chinese/Indian economic policy is likely to count in their calculations.

A policy statement such as that above demands a policy recommendation. To wit:

Buy That Tahoe--It'll Piss Off The Greenies And Won't advance "Global Warming" By As Much As A Nanosecond And Even If It Does How Much Do You Really Care In The Long Run?


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